So I must punish you
by kushinada1
Summary: SuzakuxLulu. Ouch, somebodies angry and its not Lelouche. But who knew Suzaku would go this far? Gomen, the original title bothered me quite a bit. The mistakes, for the most part, should be fixed.


I OWN NOTHING MUCH LESS THE ULCER INDUCING CODE GEASS. I JUST WATCH IT AND KEEP PEPTO ON HAND.

PLEASE, READ ON!

SUZxLULU, OCC

Punish...My Love

"Who do you think you are?!"

"Do you think you are God?!"

Suzaku was demanding these things of him, the answers to the many painful questions that scarred his soul. Lelouche didn't know it, but Suzaku was demanding the answers of himself as well. For Lelouche, it was getting increasingly hard to think straight as Suzaku accentuated each of his questions with a punch or a kick. His breath was hitched and he was scared Suzaku had cracked a rib. Lelouche sat kneeling on the ground before Suzaku,  
clutching his stomach and trying to breathe, his left cheek was swelling from when Suzaku has forced his head down on the stone covered ground and stepped on it.

Suzaku made a disgusted noise. "What type of man are you, that you can't fight back?" He looked down at Lelouche through disdainful half hooded eyes. "You're pathetic. You are worth nothing, and your masquerade as Zero, the miracle worker is a bunch of bullshit, mirrors and smoke and lies." He grabbed Lelouche by the throat and lifted him up, hearing him choke and gasp. "What? No clever words now? Or do you only have courage when you are hiding your face behind a mask?" Suddenly he had grabbed Lelouches right wrist and painfully twisted his arm behind his back. Lelouche let out a yelp, feeling the bones and muscles straining not to break.

"Don't you feel any shame?" Suzaku asked him, close to his ear, "For all that you done? Are you sorry now that I'm punishing you?"

Lelouche felt fear and dread run throught him, causing him to feel sick to his stomach. Those words...those words implied Suzaku was not nearly through with him. Lelouche heaved and gagged, his heart pounding and very much feeling his mortality.

"Hm? " asked Suzaku, coy and cruel, "are you feeling sick Lelouche? Are you feeling afraid? Could it be that you are finally repenting becoming Zero?" He wrenched Lelouches right arm even further back and Lelouche felt something rip.  
He let out another strangled yelp followed by a whimper, his arm still cruelly held at that strange angle, the bones of his wrist being ground together by Suzakus hand. He was afraid that if Suzaku let go, he wouldn't be able to move or return his arm to its regular position.

Suzaku was going to kill him, Lelouche thought with alacrity, and he was going to kill him slowly in this old childhood home of theirs where nobody could hear him scream. There would be no help coming...he had told nobody where he was going...

Suzaku saw the tears finally escape Lelouches amethyst eyes and run down his cheeks. He felt satisfaction at the fear he was inducing on Lelouche, how was enjoying how his heart was pounding like a rabbits, and the strangled whimpers he tried to keep quiet...Pride? There would be no pride left in Zero when Suzaku would be throught with him. Suzaku would get his revenge for his betrayal, for the pain Lelouche had caused him.

"Do what you wish, but bring him to me alive." That was all the Emperor had said to him. Suzaku answered as he always did to Britannian royalty, the ode of a thousand soldier before him and the ode of a thousand soldiers after...

"Yes, your Majesty!"

Propelling Lelouche forward by keeping grasp on his arm and pushing, Suzaku made Lelouche take an uncertain few steps forward.  
No...no...Lelouche thought, he was afraid of going into the house. He didn't know what awaited him in there but.  
Suzaku felt Lelouche stall and drag.

"Hm? " He asked again cruelly, acting mocking ly concerned."You don't want to go in the house Lelouche? I feel.  
nostalgic." He looked at Lelouche who was looking down, black hair hiding his face. "Ok, " Suzaku said letting go of his arm and pushing him forward. Lelouche fell forward and cried out as his right arm tried to move forward as well as the left. Pain assaulted it from every angle and he could only move it slightly, his elbow not able to bend.  
Lelouche heard the gravel crunch as Suzaku approached him, almost walking past him, saying "Well I'm certainly not going to carry you over the threshold", casually digging a hand in LeLouches hair and dragging him forward.  
They passed the kitchen and the main room of the house, its dilapitated state harding Suzakus heart even further, hating the war.  
Just at it had started to get better...as he had felt order in his life, Zero had appeared.

Lelouche recognized their old bedroom but not the small cot in the middle. Suzaku dragged him forward and sent him sprawling in front of him. Clutching his arm, Lelouche stayed kneeling on the ground. Suzaku leaned agains the doorframe.

"Do you remember Lelouche, " he asked him, his eyes looking cold and distant, "Do you remember how afraid you would get at night? and all those nights you missed your mother, the nights you couldn't sleep because you weren't used to futons but big feathery beds. Those nights I held you, held a stranger in my own house throught the nights." He made a disgusted noise,  
"Those night you slept on me because you were cold or uncomfortable..." Lelouche finally looked up at him, his eyes blurred by tears and his expression pleading and desperate. His face the same as when he had cried for his mother and Suzaku tried to reject the pain of his heart at seeing Lulu like this, like his old self...

"That expression!," Suzaku yelled not wanting to feel for Lelouche what he had before, he took to quick steps forward and backhanded Lelouche across the face. Eyes looking a little wild he told Lelouche, "Don't look at me like that"  
That's right...Lulu was gone and it was only Zero and Zero had brought more pain and destruction into Suzakus life.

"Well then," said Suzaku, a little calmer, "I will finally get what I wanted back in those days" he told Lelouche almost in a normal tone of voice, cheerful even, " Please do your best."

Lelouche had come to the conclusion of what Suzakus plans were already and he looked up again and pleaded desperately,

"Suzaku...please don't...don't...If you ever loved me..." Suzaku stopped short and stared down at him and Lelouche, realizing the mistake he had made in his desperation, clamped his hands over his mouth too late.

"Love?" Asked Suzaku dully. He seemed to have an internal struggle and whispered harshly, "No more lies"  
Leaning down and pulling Lelouche up by his collar, Suzaku brought him and Lelouche face to face and said,  
"I'll show you my love", closing the distance between then and bruising Lelouches lips with a harsh kiss. Grabbing Lelouches jaw, he forced his tongue into the others mouth fiercefully kissing him and biting his lips. Pushing him away, Lelouche fell back onto the cot, lips stinging and Suzaku was already shrugging off his shirt.

"Take off your clothes" Suzaku told him, his expression cool and calculating. Lelouche could only look at him, stricken,

"It would do well for you to obey me." Suzaku told him. When he saw Lelouche still not moving, anger was apparent on his face once more as he roughle undressed the other, not being careful of his useless arm.

Crying out and clutching his arm, Lelouche sat there bereft of knowing what to do.

Throwing the shirt aside, Suzaku turned to his own belt and told Lelouche "Take it all off," him yet again. With his belt and jeans undone but not removed, Suzaku turned to Lelouche and the fury in his face made Lelouche finally scramble to remove the last vestiges of his clothing. Suzaku was scaring him more now, with his moments of calm and rage, calm and rage. But Lelouche knew why; it was not in Suzakus nature to do this.

"Too slow." Suzaku said and yanked down Lelouches pants himself, a small sarcastic smile etching itself on to his face, but they were harsh lines. "Who have you been fucking that you don't wear any underwear Lulu?" He asked of him.

Lelouche already felt the humiliation of standing naked before Suzaku and having his most secret private areas cruelly exposed. Lelouche had never had sex with anybody, but he doubted Suzaku would believe him. He tried to explain "I..." but Suzaku slapped him and Lelouche tasted blood.

Suzaku looked at him disdainfully and said "I wasn't going to be gentle anyways, but now that I know that you are a dirty slut...i can just do about anything without feeling any remorse huh?"

Kneeling on he cot and pulling Lelouche back against him, Suzaku ghosted his lips up and down Lelouches neck and shoulder.  
Whispering in Lelouches ear Suzaku told him "I never dreamed I would be dirty with Lulu-chan. Loving, yes, gentle? yes, Tender...yes. But now..." Pulling him back to standing on the floor with him.

"Bend over." Suzaku harshly ordered him and Lelouche pleaded..."Please Suzaku...don't"  
But the other man, impatient with his hesitation pushed him forward and Lelouches cheeks burned with shame as he was wholly exposed. He squeezed his eyes shut.

"You've been bad, haven't you Lelouche?" Suzaku asked him, voice oddly restrained.

Chocking back a sob, of fear and shame, Lelouche whispered his response, "Yes." He felt the sting of Suzakus palm hitting his bare bottom and felt the sting of humiliation stab deeper than he had known it could, but he felt the beginnings of desire as well. How many times had he fantasized about letting Suzaku do dirty things to him? He felt the sting again and again, hearing the slap of it and Suzakus harsh breathing.

"Not enough, right Lelouche? You want to be made sorry right?"

Lelouche let out a yelp of dismay as the stinging was made more pronouced byt the use of Suzakus belt. He let out a whimper of dismay as he felt his manhood touch his belly. He hoped Suzaku hadn't noticed.

"There now," Suzaku said not stopping, " Now I hear a real response and I see proof you are a whore"  
The buckle bit his flesh and defiled Lelouches lower back and thighs. Suddenly he was pulled back to standing yet again but his knees buckled and he nearly fell as harsh fingers entered him with no warning. With a short scream Lelouche felt the agony of the intrusion. Suzaku held him up.

"You'd think a dirty slut like you would be used to this by now Lulu." Suzaku asked of him, but Lelouche could only gasp as fingers were wrenched out of his entrance. Suzaku pushed him onto the cot on his back now and Lelouche tried to cover himself with his hands.

"Come on know, " Suzaku pleaded mockingly, " I'm sure you're holding out on me right Lulu?"

Lelouche could only looke at him in despair. Fury began to cloud Suzakus face again.

"I said don't look at me with that face!" Suzaku yelled at him and pulled his legs apart harshly, taking hold of both of Lelouches wrists with one hand and lifting them above his head. Lifting his belt with the other, Suzaku brought it down between Lelouches legs over and over again, sometimes hitting his delicate inner thighs and sometimes hitting what made Lelouche scream with agony.  
He couldn't see through his tear blurred vision, but Suzaku was crying too.

Lelouche didn't know what he was babbling in his desperation but Suzaku came to a standstill. He heard himself then, still pleading,

"Stop...please stop Suzaku...I'm sorry, I'm sorry...I've never...I've never touched anyone before because I, because I love you, so please, so please don't hurt me anymore..."

They were both still for a long time, Lelouche whimpering at the pain radiating from between his legs. Then Suzaku laid over him and held him. Lelouches breath hitched as the sensitive spot was pressed upon, but he also felt Suzakus gentle kiss at his temple. Suzakus soft eyes were looking at him, themselves again. Lelouches looked at him trembling and Suzaku gently kissed his lips, slowly and carelful of their damage. His tongue breached Lelouches lips tentively at first and then sweeping, kissing him gently, but deeply. His hands stroked Lelouches cheek and swept down to caress the sensitive flesh of his shoulders and then chest. Finding a nipple, he began to gentle stroked it and his mouth found it way to Lelouches ear, which he kissed just as he had his mouth, making Lelouche gasp with both sensations. Hearing a whimper,  
Suzaku up at Lelouche from kissing his neck and followed the others gaze to between his long coltish legs. Though the most sensitve part of his body had been battered by Suzakus belt, Lelouche was aroused.Lightly kissing his chest, Suzaku took Lelouches nipples in his mouth, one at a time, the other sighing at the sensation. His kisses travelling down Lelouches stomach, Suzaku finally took him in his mouth, making Lelouche cry out in pain, tears escaping his eyes. Suzaku had figured he would be too sensative for this after the beating he had given him. Raising his head, Suzaku looke up at Lelouche, who held his gaze pleading.

"Nothing has changed Lelouche, " Suzaku told him, " Even though you say you love me, you are still Zero, so I must punish you."

Lelouche let out a strangled cry as Suzaku took him in his mouth once more. Lelouche had never had anybody touch him in the places Suzaku had today, nobody had taken him in their mouth, always preoccuppied with hate and worry, he had never though much about sex, he had never felt the building tension that promised release...but he also felt the stinging of his abused manhood and when he came in Suzakus mouth, crying out in pleasure, it was a double edged knife he felt in his realease, pleasure and pain as one.

"I'm sorry Lulu, "SuZaku told him as he discarded his pants and pulled Lelouche down to him, legs over his shoulders.

"Suzaku...don't" Lelouche managed to choke before Suzaku buried himself up to the hilt without any preparatio, simply brutally thrusting past any barrier he felt, Lelouches tight muscles giving beneath his strength. Lelouche screamed in agony and struggled to push him off, but Suzakus discipline and strength held. Stiffling Leloushes scream with a kiss, Suzaku allowed Lelouche some air after his struggling subsided and heard him plead,

"It hurts Suzaku, it hurts...please...don't..."

With dull eyes Suzaku kissed the crying Lelouche once again and started to thrust, telling him "I'm sorry.  
But i have to punish you my love." 


End file.
